Testimonies
HOW
FEMINISM CHANGED OUR LIVES
(a short summary of individual interviews of
Filipino grassroots women leaders)
Beth
Beth
grew up in a violent home. Oftentimes, she and her siblings noticed the heavy
marks of physical abuse on their mother. But they never witnessed how their
father beat up their mother who also did not dare tell her children about their
father’s violent tendencies for fear that a son might kill the father. In one
unavoidable circumstance, however, the children finally saw their father’s violent
outburst. As expected, it angered the son such that the father nearly lost his
life.
When
it was Beth’s turn to have her own married life, she realized that her husband
was also of the same kind. His abuses increased when he started to entertain
himself habitually in beerhouses. Every time Beth asked her husband why he came
home late and drunk, he would beat her up. Her husband was also into gambling.
The household income became meager because of such practices. Her husband
excused his harmful deeds by saying that he was the bread winner.
Beth
knew that the situation was wrong and disagreed with his husband’s excuses.
Being a member and area leader of a women’s organization strengthened her
position to end her husband’s abuses. Having been oriented on the law declaring
domestic violence a crime, she went to the village chief and filed a complaint
against her husband. Since then, her husband ceased to harm her physically. And
while naturally, disagreements arise between the two of them, their power relations
shifted from unequal to equal.
Lina
A
local folk belief says that marriage is not an easy matter. More so if the couple’s religion and cultural
orientation are different. Such is the case of Lina, a Christian, whose husband
is a Moslem. The man she married hails from a conservative family of Imams. An
Imam is the counterpart of a priest in the Roman Catholic church. Her husband
and his family share the same belief that the role of women in society is
limited only to giving birth and caring for the children, the husband and the
home. Lina took this all in stride. Then time caught up and the idea of a
jobless husband and a good-for-nothing wife frightened her.
When
Lina took a job in a women’s organization, she was exposed to other points of
view pertaining to the role of women at home and in society. More important for
her was her appreciation of the equal rights of women and men. This energized
her to begin advocating for change at home. She fought for her equal right as a
woman.
She
now enjoys the support of her husband. He respects her reproductive health and
right. She can refuse her husband’s sexual invitation. She can assert her right
to not to be pregnant. She is also successful in warding off violence in
intimate relationships.
For
Lina, feminism as a way of life is a continuing struggle. She hopes that more
women will also be awakened into feminism and become a part of an expanding
movement for social transformation.
Violy
At
the age of 16, Violy became active at community organizing in the province.
Since then, it was her life and her world. And it very much contented her,
especially since it was her venue to learn and impart to others what she
learned.
It
was also through the organization that she met her husband. He was her first
and only boyfriend. Early in their married life, Violy found it strange that
her husband made love to her in different positions. This haunted her for
nearly a year until she found courage to tell a friend about it. Her friend
enlightened her by saying that it was a normal thing among couples. When her
husband learned about it as well, he explained that being raised in the city,
he was exposed to a variety of literature about love-making. He also had a
girlfriend before her. For Violy, that spelled the difference between her
husband and herself. When it comes to raising their children, Violy was a
conservative and her husband was a liberal. They would debate about it but at
the end of the day they united on what was best for them.
Violy
learned about feminism when she joined a women’s organization in the city. This
brought a change in the couple’s decision-making process. Violy now plays an
equal part in making decisions for herself, the family and the household. She also plays a key role in
gender-sensitizing all the members of her own family.
Emma
The
house and the family were her two worlds before. Her husband disallowed her to
work and earn a living. One day, her sister-in-law invited her to a meeting
which was arranged by a group that was engaged in organizing work in the
community. She appreciated what she heard, stuff which were mostly helpful to
life. On the third meeting, she was elected as one of the officers of the local
organization. The officers participated in a training to develop their
leadership capabilities. After her husband left for work, she joined the other
officers in the training. Before he got home from work, Emma beat him to it.
Emma strived to learn and participate actively. Her knowledge increased and her
circle grew. These she appreciated greatly.
Her
efforts were recognized and she was chosen to become a community health worker.
She learned and practiced clinical check-up and related health work. She also
encountered cases of violence against women and learned to provide crisis intervention
counseling to abused women and children. A particular case of intimate abuse
between a lesbian couple made her realize the risks involved in crisis
intervention. It also made her accept the fact that decision-making lies in the
hands of the persons concerned and not in the service provider. Moreover, she
learned to respect the decisions of others.
These she also applied to her own set of teenagers in the family. She
knows better how to guide them in their turbulent growing-up years. Changes
were also noticeable with her husband. He intervened when a gay was being
discriminated against by a group of neighbors. He also encouraged Emma to get
up and attend to a woman who will give birth during an unholy hour of the
night, when before his attitude towards it was negative.
Through
her affiliation in a feminist organization, Emma was able to attain personal
growth and development, something that she cherishes and which, she knows, her
husband appreciates.
Contact
Person: Tish Vito Cruz
Organization:
Likhaan (Secretariat of KK2!, the Philippine network of the WMW)
Copyrights : CC by-nc-sa 2.0
Last modified 2007-06-18 02:43 PM
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